Humor: The Magic Green Hat

Since moving to Florida, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.

I guess they decided that they weren’t that sick after all.

Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

 

                                            Here’s the hat:
Thte Magic Green Ha

 

 

 

It also works at Dept. of Motor Vehicles.
It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after
entering, I had my choice of any machine,
most still running.

If you live in Texas, it might cut your wait
time at the grocery store.

But… don’t try it at McDonald’s.
The whole crew ran out the back door
and I never did get my order!

FGST - Finding Gems & Sharing Them

 

[Note:  Received from a friend on email, don’t know the origin of the email but I am guessing that anyone who would wear one of these will not have the last laugh.  I thought everyone knew that the US has no real border security.]

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Posted by Sandra Crosnoe for Finding Gems & Sharing Them

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Your Duck is Dead

Original source unknown — but thanks to Donna for sharing with me!

Proverbs 17:22

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

dead-duck-thumb-200x

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.

He might just be in a coma or something.”

black-lab

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

Peaches on post 200x

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

Peaches in sunspot 200x

The ducks owner, still in shock, took the bill.

“$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

Posted by Sandra Crosnoe for Finding Gems & Sharing Them

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