You mean to tell me we can tax them for not buying tea?
H/T to friends on facebook.
Painting credit: George III by Allan Ramsay, 1762
Original source unknown — but thanks to Donna for sharing with me!
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The ducks owner, still in shock, took the bill.
“$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to Obama and Presidency.
The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, he’s a ‘Post Turtle”.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.
The old rancher said “When you’re driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top – that’s a post turtle.” The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the Doctor’s face, so he continued to explain.
“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him there to begin with. All ya really know is ya gotta help take him down …”
Special thanks to Charles Gove from an email in 2010
Not long ago some of the Tapp family came to visit me in Bartlesville. We went to some meetings together and visited with friends and had a lovely time. While they were here, I borrowed Kenny Bob’s hat (briefly) and this picture was taken.
It is one of my all time favorite photos of me — genuine smile on this one.
Thanks for the visit and for making my day!
*** How to create your own gun free zone! ***
crop this sign and put one in your yard or business…
watch this video to see how well it works!
Published on Jan 11, 2013
via 1/2 Hour News Hour/Fox News
over 74,000 views at time of posting
My favorite comment there via Yartap:
Another new door or yard sign:
Due to the price increase on Ammunition….
DO NOT EXPECT A WARNING SHOT!
Thank You for your understanding.
Homeschooling provides special moments I like to equate with the “perfect golf shot”. It only takes one moment like this to make you come back for the next round. During our dinner discussion tonight we were discussing the setup of our new solar powered device. I was explaining to the family the difference between serial connections and parallel connections when connecting the solar panels and batteries together. I asked if anyone knew what a serial connection was.
My favorite 3 year old spoke up and said, ”its when the milk is connected to the Cheerios, that is a cereal connection”…. After a hearty laugh, everyone agreed he deserved an “A” for the class tonight. Personally I’m looking forward to my older boys teaching this young guy what they have learned in logic class soon.
I’ll spare you the square root discussion that followed. But, with a few brownies and some milk, a good time was had by all.
Cross posted with OKGrassroots